The First Challenge of Your Professional Career Starts Now

From: McFarland, Greg

To: 2020 Summer Intern Distro List

Welcome to InsuraCorp!

Dear 2020 Summer Intarns,

Congratulations on your acceptance into the InsuraCorp internship program!

Now that that’s over, I want to take this opportunity to share our expectations for you so that u are prepared to match our high standards of quality from day one. in fact somewhere in th,is email will, be one single grammar error. I would like each of you to respond with that error so that I know you have read email and that you possess impeccable attention to detaiL

  • Always be on time

Work sharts at 8am, no questions asked? If it is 8:01am and you are not in your desk chair, you will get fired.  

  • Perfectionism is key

We expect your        work to shine. Don’t just be “good enough’ be best.

  • Little to no mistakes

If there is an air in your work, e.g. the answer is 4.3% and you write 4%, you will get fired.

  • Be a team player

If your work is presented by myself or another department lead consider it an honor even if we do not give you credit even if someone asks “Did you get help on this?” and I answer “No” and they are like “Then why does it say ‘Presentation by Megan’?” and I’m like “Reagan is my nickname” and they’re like “No, Megan” and I’m like “Oh, that’s my middle name! Hahaha Do you golf?”

  • Do not cry

The corporate world is no face for tears. iF YOU HAVE TO CRY DO WHAT I DO AND WAIT FOR IT TO RAIN THEN GO OUTSIDE. tHEN NO ONE CAN TELL IF YOUR CLOTHES ARE soaked because you were crying or because you were standing in the eye of a hurricane.

We look forward to having you on our team. Please re-shout to Janette Malzone in HR if you have any questions or Concerns.

Literally,

Greg McFarland

Intern Manager

**********

From: Smithers, Maribeth

To: McFarland, Greg

Re: Welcome to InsuraCorp!

Hello Mr. McFarland,

I found 83 grammar errors. I marked up your email in the attachment.

Best,

Maribeth Smithers

**********

From: Richardson, Isaac

To: McFarland, Greg

Re: Welcome to InsuraCorp!

Hi Greg

Can I quit? If not, looking forward to day one!

Best,

Isaac Richardson

**********

From: McFarland, Tyler

To: McFarland, Greg

Re: Welcome to InsuraCorp!

Hi Dad,

I don’t see any errors! You’re the greatest! 😊 I wub you bunchies!

Can’t wait to finally work together!

Your boy,

Ty

**********

From: Malzone, Janette

To: McFarland, Greg

Re: Welcome to InsuraCorp!

Hi Greg,

I’m following up on your request re: the intern welcome party.

We have budget for $2 per person. Maybe they can each bring their own pizza, and we can foot the bill for soda.

Or, we can do the same thing we did last summer and give them each $2. Your call.

Jan

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