Monica Donaldson struggles to keep up with the expectations of holiday cheer and confides in the family Elf on The Shelf, Chipper. This comedic, hallucinogenic story asks us to reexamine the role of motherhood and the impact the holidays have on all of us. Continue reading The Elf on The Shelf Isn’t Into This Either
A pulsating sound reverberates in my head. A smoke alarm? A screaming baby? A screaming dictator? My eyes shoot open, and I’m blinded by laser sunbeams piercing through the broken blinds. “Wakey, wakey eggs and bakey!” My old college roommate … Continue reading The Hottest Day in Chicago: The Most Important Day of Your Life
I stare at my hairdresser in the mirror. He is waiting for my answer. Feeling myself getting hot, I stop scrolling on Google Images. The smock around my neck is caught under his hands, which lean against the back of … Continue reading I Want a Haircut That Will Fix My Life, Please
My Love My passion for you is everlasting, like the purplish stain in our bathtub My spirit longs for you, like my hunger for Dorritos and cake at 1 am, 2 am, 3 am, 4 am, and 5 am My … Continue reading Very Good Love Poem
December 2, 2018 Dear Mr. Claus, Sir It is with utmost concern that I must pen this letter to you. For, I am fearful an obscene act by one ex-Trump campaign chair will impose great repercussions upon me, my holiday … Continue reading Discovered: Paul Manafort’s Plea to Santa
Use Fewer Words 