Judge: Court is now in session. Plaintiff, please state your case.
Hannah: I was only talking because Sarah was talking.
Judge: Defendant, please state your case.
Sarah: My cousin and Hannah have the same shoes.
Judge: Come again?
Sarah: I was telling Hannah my cousin has the same shoes
Hannah: But, Mrs. Wilson told us not to talk during announcements, Sarah! I was telling you not to talk to me. Now look where we are. Look what has become of us!
Judge: Order! Sarah, I am sentencing you to 15 years in prison followed by 1,000 hours of community service followed by 2,000 hours of house arrest followed by a lifetime sentence to the moon followed by 15 years in prison. Case is dismissed.
**Outside the courtroom**
Reporters: Hannah, Hannah! How does it feel knowing justice is yours?
Hannah: I can’t say that I am happy with this outcome, but when the teacher says to shake your hips and shut your lips, then you have to, no exception, or you have to walk backwards for the rest of the day. This was Sarah’s third offense. She had it coming.
Reporters: Sarah! How does it feel knowing you are going to spend the rest of your life living with this guilt?
Sarah: I’m not sorry! Where is the camera? Where?! Oh, ok… this is my message to the world. No one will silence me. Not, Mrs. Wilson. Not Mrs. Milligan, not Mr. Craig. No one! The next time I know two people have the same shoes, I’m telling NO ONE. I’m just going to whisper it to MYSELF. Now, you and your shoes are alone in this world, FUCKERS!